


Split Tongue Shenanigans

by DigitalMoriarty



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies), Mad Max: Fury Road
Genre: Angst, Biting, Blowjobs, Body Modification, Car Chases, Cuddling, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kissing, Lizards, M/M, Original Male Characters - Freeform, Snakes, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:30:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalMoriarty/pseuds/DigitalMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hijinks and shenanigans of two War Boys, running about the Citadel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MisanthropicDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisanthropicDragon/gifts).



> I blame chromevalhalla for all of this. Every last word. You should go visit them on Tumblr.

Ophi had a bit of a reputation. A well deserved reputation. For being completely and utterly out of his mind. There was a distinct difference between ‘dying historic’ and ‘dying because you cuddled the wrong highly venemous snake’ and it seemed as if Ophi was completely oblivious to that.

 

Ophi was, in fact, perfectly aware of the difference. But it was hardly his fault. If the Immortan hadn’t wanted snakes and lizards to be cuddled, he wouldn’t have made them so cute. Unfortunately despite his efforts he seemed to be alone in that opinion. And his attempts to convince the Pups had ended for good when Minder hunted him down and threatened to take a welding torch to him.

 

Just meant there were more lovable scaley things for him.

 

His current object of adoration was a very pretty snake currently residing in one of his pockets. The special pockets with heavy reinforcements and bits of steel to keep him from getting bitten. He was perfectly aware his darlings were venemous. He’d been to the Organic Mechanic often enough after all. But he didn’t really care.

 

“Hey, Ophi!”

"Yes?” As usual his lisp made him sound a bit like he was hissing. Which produced a snigger from the War Boy who stopped him.

 

Now, Ophi was generally cheerful and pleasant. ‘Generally’ didn’t mean ‘always’ though…

Two of the other War Boys nearby could apparently read minds.

 

” Ophi no!”

 

Ophi ignored them in favor of smiling and scooping the snake out of her pocket and shoving her in the other man’s face. 

Snakes do not like being scooped out of pockets and shoved into people’s faces.

Curiously enough, people don’t much like having snakes shoved at them. Especially when the snake decides to demonstrate their displeasure by way of biting their nose.

 

“You should probably go to the Mechanic. Her venom won’t kill you but it certainly makes you wish it had!”

 

He made a point of exaggerating his lisp as he pulled the snake back and held her close to his chest.

 

The entire production would only add to the ‘Ophi is a frame, engine and wheels short of a car’ reputation of course. But he had much better things to do than worry about that. 

 

Like cuddling his snake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Splitter belongs to chromevalhalla, Ophi belongs to me, Mad Max does not belong to either of us.

“Ophi.”

“Yessssssssss?”

 

Ophi gave Splitter one of his crooked grins, eyes bright with mischeif. Ophi being mischevious was generally not good anyone.

 

” Ophi, no.”

“But Sssplitter!”

"Not until I’ve grabbed a wrench or something.”

 

The taller War Boy beamed and did a happy little (very un-War Boy) dance. Splitter rolled his eyes, and grabbed the nearest long fingered hand to haul the other man off. As usual, Ophi was perfectly happy to be hauled. He didn’t shut up though.

 

“ Thiss iss going to be sso much fun! Sseriously chrome!”

 

Splitter rolled his eyes. It was hard not to do when confronted with Ophi in one of his especially effusive moods, and when you were immune to any worries in regards to his reputation.

 

“Yeah yeah, Jusst don’t fuck up.”

 

Despite the eye roll, Splitter couldn’t keep the affection out of his voice and Ophi laughed.

 

“I won’t!”

 

About an hour later, with Splitter suitably armed and standing guard, Ophi scrambled his way up the wall of one of the bunk rooms. A very specific one of the bunk rooms. Heading to a very specific bunk.

 

One of the side effects of riding through the desert looking for reptiles is you occasionally found nests. And you also occasionally found an abandoned nest, the eggs dead and rotting in the sun.

Reaching his destination, he carefully drew the fragile eggs out of the pocket he’d put them in. The extra pair of pants on the bunk made a perfect hiding place. and if the War Boy who owned the pants happened to use them as a pillow…

 

Task done, he climbed back down, and returned to Splitter’s side. The pair shared a grin and a forehead bump before they hurried away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Splitter is chromevalhalla's, Ophi is mine, the idea that they do this belongs to both of us.

“Yessss, I sssssee what you mean Ssssplitter. But I sssstill think ussssing ssssshed ssssnake sssskin would work.”

“Ssssshut up Ophi. The sssshed sssskin would never hold up. It’sssss not like it’sssss ssssuper sssstrong.”

“Shut up! In the name of the Immortan and the V8 would you two shut up?”

 

Ophi and Splitter shared a grin.

 

“Why would we ssssssshut up?”

“We’re jussst talking about ssssshed ssssnake sssskin…”

 

The other War Boy made a noise that seemed to be the audible equivalent of repeatedly slamming your head into the wall.

 _That_ would certainly remind people not to make comments about their lisps…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Splitter is chromevalhalla's, Ophi is mine, and you know public cuddling would result in this.

“Ssplitter…”

 

Ophi’s voice was soft as his arms curled around the other War Boy’s shoulders.With a crooked little smile, he flicked out his tongue to brush the tips of it against Splitter’s cheek, tasting war clay.

Almost absently, Splitter leaned back against his companion’s body, tilting his head to lick the lowest of the scars on Ophi’s face.

 

“Yess?”

“I had an idea!”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna…”

 

Ophi’s voice quieted further as he whispered his plan into Splitter’s undamaged ear, making the quiet man grin.

 

“Really Ophi?”

“What? It’d be fun!”

“What the fuck?”

 

The pair looked up to see one of the new Lancers giving them a dirty look. Which was understandable. Cuddling in the hallway wasn’t exactly… well…

 

The pair tilted their heads to lock eyes. And shared a nasty grin.

“Got a problem?”

“We can help you with that..”

 

They separated and moved forward.

 

Several hours later, the Lancer was hooked to a blood bag, groaning in pain. And Ophi and Splitter were out in the desert, doing exactly what Ophi had planned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all chromevalhalla’s fault. All of it. Ophi’s mine, Splitter’s theirs.

Splitter’s lips were chapped against’s Ophi’s, and where their bodies touched, along chest and hips, he could feel the warmth of his body. But that was a distant thing, like the sensation of his arms tight around the other War Boy’s waist.

The far more prominent sensation was the way their lips moved together, the way their tongues battled back and forth. They twisted together, split tips curling around and around. They only broke apart to grab quick breaths when their lungs forced them to, before going back to things.

It was sloppy, Splitter pressing him back against the wall, grip tight enough to bruise. Thankfully Ophi’s pockets were free of reptile passengers, otherwise the way they were grinding together would have crushed the poor thing.

“Sssspliter…”

“Sshut up Ophi.”

“Yess…”

Ophi trailed off with a groan as Splitter pressed him back harder, and they went back to their kissing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes and lizards are adorable! Just ask Ophi! (Splitter still belongs to chromevalhalla, Ophi still belongs to me)

They were some miles from the Citadel on Ophi’s motorcycle, ostensibly patrolling. Of course, Ophi’s definition was more ‘look for lizards and snakes and sort of keep an eye out for Buzzards’.

‘They’ being Ophi and Splitter, who had come along to help his fellow War Boy find said snakes and lizards.

Ophi had parked his bike in the sand and gotten off, scale scars more visible in the bright light of day. He raised his goggles to scan his immediate surroundings without their obstruction, waiting as Splitter dismounted.

 

“Alright, thiss time of day they’ll be ssuning themsselvess. Sso rockss and ssuch.”

 

Splittter nodded, lifting his own goggles.

 

“Got it.”

“And be careful! Picked them up like I sshowed you.”

 

Splitter nodded again, and headed off into the barren sand. Ophi grinned crookedly at his back, and set to looking himself.

He was delighted when Splitter came back not too long after, looking bemused with a double handful of tiny sandy skinned lizards.

 

“I nearly sstepped on them.”

“Eeeee! They’re sso cute!”

“…”

 

Ophi let out a happy squeal, almost like a War Pup being allowed behind the wheel, as Splitter shoved them at him.

 

“Hello ssweetiess. You’re sso darling!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame chromevalhalla. In fact, just always assume anything posted here is their fault.

The reactions to Wash Day varied between War Boys. Some of them enjoyed the chance to wash off their clay, tilt their heads into the spray and bask in the cold of it. Some of them hated it and got out as quickly as possible.

Ophi loved Wash Day. 

 

He felt like a snake, shedding his old skin to grow into a new one. Saw his scars free of their clay. Flicked his split tongue out into the water and scrubbed his hands over every inch of pale flesh. He twirled in the spray, laughing even as his feet slipped on the wet stone, the clay running off his naked body. The chill that brought up goose bumps was perfect, a delicious contrast to the near ever present heat of the world.

 

Splitter loved Wash Day too, but for different reasons.

 

The water drumming down on his back pounded out the tension, the stress of everything washing down the drain. The cold of it shocked his systems into numbness for a few moments, giving him relief.  And, of course, he got to watch Ophi act like a giddy War Pup. It was a bit hard not to smile when a scale scarred man was laughing and spinning and generally acting like a fool. He managed it of course. He wasn't about to actually admit he found Ophi cute. He had to maintain some dignity after all.

 

"Ssplitter! Come dance with me!"

 

But he could occasionally afford to sacrifice some. It would let him kick the crap out of anyone who gave them shit for it after all...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, Splitter is still chromevalhalla's and it is still all their fault.

"Ssplitter!"

Ophi had several 'I am so happy' tones. They ranged from 'I have a seriously chrome idea!' to 'I got us something shiny!' to 'Look at this cute scaley thing I've found!'.

This was 'Look at this cute scaley thing!'.

 

The cute scaley thing in question was a tiny, dark brown snake, lazily curled around Ophi's long fingers. It flicked its tongue out in a faintly inquisitive fashion as he drew near, which made the other War Boy coo.

 

"Oh look, she likes you! Here, hold her!"

 

Splitter put his hands out obediently as his companion transferred the snake, having learned proper reptile friend holding techniques within about three hours of knowing Ophi.

The snake turned it's head to look up at him, and he tried to convey 'Sorry, he's always like this.' in his own expression.

Ophi meanwhile had managed to get out whatever he'd been looking for in his pockets. It turned out to be...

 

"You're going to have to put her back you know."

 

 

Splitter's words were greeted by a very wounded expression.

 

"Look at her! She's so chrome, she can-"

"Ophi, what happened to the last snake?"

"...someone tried to kill her and I broke their arm and got an ass kicking and a long lecture from Ace..."

"Exactly."

 

Heaving a dramatic sigh, the other War Boy took the (probably highly venomous) snake back and cuddled it close.

 

"Fine. I'll let her go... _after_ she helps me repair my ride."

"Fine. But if Minder sees her and there's a Pup around, I'm not helping you."

"Deal!"

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's fault this is? Chromevalhalla's! And I have no idea what to rate this particular one...

"Alright, sstay sstill."

 

Splitter's reminder was soft as he brushed a gentle hand across the patch of skin currently cleared of war clay. Ophi just nodded his bent head, arms wrapped around his legs. With no one around to see them, he pressed a kiss to the back of the other War Boy's head before picking up the welding torch and the sharp knife.

 

When the tip was red hot, he carefully carved the first scale into the bare flesh below Ophi's right shoulder blade. The noise the other War Boy made was muffled by his biting into his wrist, but he didn't flinch away. Splitter didn't stop his work, re-heating the blade when it cooled too much. The scales fit together neatly, the patch expanding slowly until it was about two inches across at it's widest point.

 

Scales done, he set his tools down and examined what he'd done. It looked a bit better than the other ones on Ophi's back, and was still fresh, the red standing out sharply beside the white war clay on either side.

 

With careful fingers, he traced around it before giving the back of Ophi's neck a kiss.

 

"All done."

"Thank you Ssplitter!"

 

Ophi turned to give Splitter a brilliant smile, lips and wrist bloody from where he'd been biting them to keep quiet.

 

"How doess it look?"

"Amazing."

"Sso chrome!"

 

With a grin, Splitter gave him a kiss, licking away the blood.

 

"Gonna give me more once thesse heal?"  
"Of coursse."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Ophi this time around!

Ophi loved reptiles. Of every shape and color and species. And he knew more about them than anyone else in the Citadel.

 

Mostly through trial and error.

It was amazing what you can learn after being bitten and writhing in agony on a slab in the OM's workshop.

Apart from 'Ow holy fuck that hurt'.

 

Unfortunately, he didn't know much about helping them heal.

Which was a shame, given that he was holding an injured lizard close, and trying to figure out how to help it.

It's leg was at a horrible angle and it was pretty obviously dying.

But Ophi wasn't about to give up.

 

He stroked it's back and tickled under it's chin, trying to sooth whatever pain he could, lurking in an out of the way corner of the Citadel.

 

He wished he knew what to do. Or at least some idea of how to help. But all he could do was this.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two times when Splitter and Ophi were sweet and one time they really weren't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. What happens when my brain goes places it shouldn't. Please note the updated tags!

 

Ophi had just buried the lizard, and his war clay was streaked with his tears. Two War Boys were currently with the OM for trying to eat the fallen reptile, and Ophi's knuckles were bloody as he stood over the tiny grave.

 

He wished he'd been able to help the little thing. Wished he'd known how to do anything but cuddle it close and whisper to it. Wished the lizard hadn't gone to Walhalla so soon. (And he knew the lizard had gone to Walhalla. All reptiles went there, where they could live shiny and chrome and bask in the sun without worry)

 

He stiffened slightly as he heard someone come up behind him, but relaxed immediately as he heard "Come insside Ophi."

 

"I... I couldn't..."

 

Splitter wrapped his arms around Ophi's waist and held him close for a long moment, tracing the scales along his stomach.

 

"Insside."

"Ssplitter.."

"Insside. It'll make you feel better."

 

With a faintly curious look, Ophi accepted Splitter's hand, and with a long look back at the mound of sand, he allowed his fellow War Boy to draw him inside.

Inside, where Splitter promptly shoved him up against the wall and dragged him into a kiss.

As always, their kisses were messy, a natural side effect of two split tongues and a height difference, and when Ophi pulled back to take a breath, Splitter licked along the tear streaks.

 

"Come on Ophi, relax..."

"But Sspli-"

" _Relax_."

 

A thigh pressed between Ophi's legs made relaxation less likely, but distraction much easier. And Ophi was very very distracted.

 

He rocked back, moaning into Splitter's mouth and making the other man smirk. He pressed closer, pining the scale scarred man against the wall more firmly.

 

"Now, I'm going to get you off, and then we're going to work on your bike. And once that'ss done we're going to go find Pinwheel."

"Pinwheel? Why-"

"Do you anyone else who would do that?"

 

Ophi jerked suddenly with the realization, but Splitter shoved him back.

 

" _After_."

 

Before his fellow War Boy could protest, Splitter was kissing him again, and yanking his belts free to drag his pants down.

 

Head thunking back against the wall, hard enough that he'd regret it later, Ophi moaned long and loud. His long fingers scrambled against Splitter's shoulders and back, as callused fingers set to work. Those fingers knew exactly what to do, stroking light and slow to get Ophi's dick to full hardness and then circled and squeezed, just as Splitter bit into the other man's shoulder.

 

He kept his grip firm and his teeth in Ophi's shoulder until he let out a soft sort of noise and rested all his weight back on the wall, clearly deciding to let Splitter do whatever he wanted. Which is exactly what Splitter wanted. Licking up the blood, he slowly knelt, both hands moving to pinch clay covered nipples, play over patches of scale scars, and finally dig into sharp hip bones.

 

Thumbs pressing hard enough to bruise, he licked a stripe up the vein on the underside of Ophi's cock, flicking the tips of his tongue against the patch of scales just above where his left thumb pressed.

 

"Sstay sstill Ophi."

 

Whatever Ophi might have said turned into a choked gasp as Splitter turned his attention to the head of Ophi's dick, tongue demonstrating one of the benefits of their shared body mod. Namely, swiping up either side to flick over the slit.

 

He kept his mouth busy with slow licks and light sucks, gently grazing his teeth along the length to make Ophi whimper and make abortive little thrusts. Those earned him a scratch, and he stopped obediently, letting Splitter resume what he was doing. 

 

Ophi's moans grew louder as Splitter steadily sank lower on his cock, as his hands slid around to squeeze his ass. When Ophi started making his quiet little whimpers, gasping out "Ssplitter plea-plea-" he pulled off and looked Ophi directly in the eyes as he stroked quickly, twisting his wrist and swiping over the head. Staring with pupils blown wide, Ophi came, spattering over Splitter's chest as his fellow War Boy worked him through his orgasm.

 

When he whined, Splitter pulled back, pressing a kiss to Ophi's lips, wiping his hands clean on his pants even as he pulled them back up. Leaving the belts still undone, he murmured "Now, time for the bike." and grinned as Ophi nodded, body limp and relaxed in the aftermath of his attention.

 

 

 

Ophi repaid the favor when he finally finished shaking from the rush caused by Splitter's knife work on his back. That took him a few minutes of course, as the endorphin which had flooded his body slowly seeped away. Splitter, after making sure Ophi wasn't going into shock, kept an eye on him as he took care of the tools they'd used. As such he saw when his partner's eyes cleared, and became calculating.

 

He turned in time to see Ophi crawl over to him, shifting up to wrap his arms around Splitter's legs and grin at him.

 

"Going to let me thank you properly Ssplitter?"

 

In lieu of saying anything, Splitter spread his hand around the back of Ophi's head and pulled. That got him a laugh as Ophi nuzzled against his stomach, licking teasingly along his sharply defined abs. The laughter didn't last long though as Ophi nuzzled lower nipping at the crotch of the other War Boy's pants before setting to work undoing belts and fastenings with his teeth and tongue.

 

Splitter rested his weight back against the wall, looking down as Ophi worked, fingers absently stroking the bare scalp beneath his hand. It didn't take Ophi long to get his partner's pants down around his knees and start paying attention to just about everything except what Splitter wanted him paying attention to. But a growl fixed that, even Ophi rolled his eyes before setting straight to swallowing as much of Splitter's dick as he could, wrapping a callused hand around what he couldn't fit in his mouth. Slowly pulling back, he licked from base to tip with tiny little flicks of his tongue, taking care to press the tips together after each one.

 

While he was largely silent, Splitter showed his appreciation in other ways, petting the top of Ophi's head and occasionally murmuring "Jusst like that..." whenever Ophi did something he especially liked. The moan Ophi let out when he sunk back down again produced a gasp though, and an "Again!".

 

When it came to blow jobs, Ophi was a hell of a lot more obedient than he was when it came to reptiles (and the picking up thereof). So he moaned again, sinking down lower as he did so. He kept slowly bobbing his head, pulling back every once in a while to press kisses to the head, and sweep up the pre-come with his tongue. Even as Splitter basked in his own pleasure, he could hear the sound of flesh on flesh, evidence of Ophi taking care of himself. But that thought flew out of his mind as the other War Boy sank down completely, and even as he gagged a bit, swallowed around him. 

 

It proved to be just enough and before he could warn his partner, his orgasm washed over him. When he opened his eyes again, Ophi had pulled back and was giving him a faintly irritated look, wiping his mouth. 

 

"Could have warned me..."

"I figured I wass good what with not fucking your face."

 

 

With a grin, he pulled Ophi to his feet and kissed him, tasting his own come on the other's split tongue and giving his lip a bite. Smile becoming a smirk, he slid a hand down and wrapped it around Ophi's still hard dick and set to work bringing him off. Splitter might be an angry bastard, but he did make sure Ophi enjoyed himself.

 

 

 

The sun was shining down on them, hot and harsh, and the wind whipped at their skin as they raced along the road. This wasn't their usual reptile hunting/patrolling, they'd actually been called out to deal with some encroaching Buzzards. Or at least Ophi had, and he'd brought Splitter along.

 

He was really regretting bringing Splitter along.

 

Specifically because Splitter had decided to get revenge for a little incident involving a two headed lizard and being naked. Which wasn't Ophi's fault in the least. Except for having the lizard... and being the reason Splitter was naked. But other than _that_ he was completely innocent! He certainly didn't deserve what was currently happening.

 

That being Splitter sliding one of his hands down to squeeze his crotch.

 

It is very hard to keep a motorcycle going 75 from crashing when someone has decided to start rubbing their palm against your dick. Ophi now knows this from experience. 

 

"Fuck Sssplitter! TRYING TO DRIVE HERE!"

"Oh, are you? Hadn't noticed..."

"Get your hand out of my pants!"

"That'ss not what you ussually ssay..."

"And sstop doing that in my ear!"

"What, thiss?"

 

It was a testament to just how good on his bike Ophi actually was that he managed not to crash them.

 

And it was a testament to just how much of a dick Splitter could be that Ophi spent the entire entire fight and the ride back to the Citadel hard as a rock.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not the best at writing fight scenes, especially ones like this, but I did my best! Everyone except Splitter belongs to me, and if you've read the previous stories you know who he belongs to.

To a distant observer, it would be an impressive (and terrifying) image. Tricked out cars with Lancers ready to kill, speeding motorcycles kicking up sand, and a curiously ominous silence, except for the far off rumble of engines. This was too small an event for the Doof Wagon to make an appearance, and that somehow made everything worse.

 

People should know when War Boys were coming. A dust cloud was not a sufficient warning for what was about to descend upon them.

 

Them, in this case, being a group of Sand Raiders, who had made the mistake of coming too close to the Citadel.

 

Closer, you could hear more. It didn't make anything better. Laughter, high and sharp. Shouted threats. The roar of overclocked engines. Seeing white war clay and black markings, the details of the vehicles, the weapons ready to be used.

 

At the front, Maxi's modified '86 Camaro surged toward their fleeing opponents, his Lancer Pinwheel on his perch and laughing like a hyena. They took out the slowest of the other vehicles with a spear through the back window, the smoke bomb on the back filling the car and making it swerve. Right into Pinwheel's next spear, which slammed through the driver's neck with a wet 'thrck'.

 

While they were busy with that, Glitter in his '95 Corvette went past them, slipping beside the next three cars to pull in front, weaving back and forth to force them to slow and deal with the fact that his Lancer was throwing explosive spears at them. Hydro's first two missed, but the third hit the right car dead on and the raider's face showed his horror as he realized what was about to happen. But only for a moment before the grenade exploded.

 

The one that remained managed to speed up enough to pass Glitter and Maxi, who'd pulled up to try and block them. But that didn't help them, as they immediately ran afoul of Spot and Shatter on their bike. No one likes suddenly finding a Molotov cocktail in their lap. They like it even less when that cocktail is followed up by a ball of _something_  which caught the flame and burst into a mass of shrapnel, driven into the face and limbs of everyone in the car.

 

While those two crashed, the last five Raiders sped up to try and escape the carnage behind them. They shouldn't have bothered. As they learned when another motorcycle pulled up between two of them. The outer most got to see a flash of eyes burning with rage before he got a knife stabbed through his eye courtesy of his sudden passenger. As the now dead driver lost control of his rather beat up car, Splitter wriggled his way back out the window and on to the back of Ophi's waiting bike. He didn't stay long though, just using it as a transfer point to get him into the other car, which had been kept thoroughly busy trying to fend off Ophi's own attacks. It's hard to escape a motorcycle when the rider keeps throwing sand bombs in your face. 

 

The other three might have managed to get away from the War Boys dogging them if not for the fact that Twitch in his '87 Mustang GT had finally put pedal to metal after hanging back. Slamming into one corner of the nearest Raider car, he cranked the wheel, sending it into a spin before reversing quickly out of the way. The car crashed into one of it's neighbors sending them both off into the deep sand. 

 

The last car found out the hard way what happens when you get hit by three different lancer spears at once. Suffice to say, there wouldn't be too much to salvage from the wreck. Turning from the thoroughly destroyed vehicle they surrounded the two cars which had been sent into sand in a loose half circle. Despite clearly knowing their fate, the owners of those cars were trying to escape. The attempt didn't last long as the two bikes demonstrated that the sand was no obstacle and harried them back into the waiting arms of the Lancers who'd hopped down from their perches.

 

Pinwheel was cackling in a rather disturbing way, while Hydro and Fidget just smirked.

 

"Thanks for volunteering to be Blood Bags."

"We can always use more."

"Don't worry about your friends, we'll be sending the bikes back to see if they're still alive enough to come back with us."

"And we'll be putting your cars to good use. Can always use more parts down in the repair bays you know."

"Come along now."

"Or don't. It's always fun to break a few limbs. Doesn't keep you from... donating."

 

The Lancers kept up their taunts until Maxi called "Oi! Grab them and get going! I don't want to miss meal time!"

"You never want to miss meal time Maxi!" Pinwheel shouted back, but he helped Hydro lift one of them while Fidget dragged the other back to the cars to dump them into the back seats.

 

Meanwhile the bikes had taken off after Pinwheel's sixth snicker and retrieved the one driver which had survived their earlier assault. Dumping him on the back of their bike, Spot and Shatter took off back to the Citadel, with Ophi and Splitter behind them, having finished stripping the dead bodies of anything useful. Time to get back and tell the others about the wrecks before anyone else tried to snag what was rightfully theirs.


End file.
